ConeyIsland.com Message Boards - Traditional Bribing of the judges info?

Nimuë La Mer

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Traditional Bribing of the judges info?
Jun 03^rd, 2009, 9:36am

I am preparing for the 2009 Parade and need to know how many judges I should prepare bribes... ahem... I mean... 'donations' for? Preferred items? Things not to include? Judges' t-shirt sizes? Allergies?

I'd like to prepare something special, as being a lone non-walking mermaid without benefit of a dance group or fancy float, I'd like to increase my chances of being considered for Best Costume.

Thanks! Wink

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The Chief Justice

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Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info?
Reply #1 - Jun 3^rd, 2009, 12:13pm

My Dear:

There are many judges. And we all take the art of jurisprudence very seriously.

Are you daring to suggest that we are holders of greasy palms, bastions of baksheesh, drinkers of gravy...that we are peeking from behind the covered eyes of blind justice!

I am a deeply offended, XXL T-shirt wearing, heavy weight cotton-preferring, white russian drinking, art-loving, cupcake eating Chief Justice. I am sure that all of my fellow Judges share my emotion, if not my T-shirt size and tastes.

As an result of how offended we are, I have been lobbying for a future show at the Coney Island Museum: THE BRIBE SHOW. If this happens we will put on display many of the incredibly original artifacts of the attempted perversions of justice through the years. This will shame all of those marchers who dare think that a Belgian-beer loving Judge can be bought. We shall share your abominations with the world.

If you do resort to this sort of sinister shmear, be sure to put your registration number and/or name on the bribe. This way we honest, hat size eight and a quarter wearing justices know who to blacklist.

Incorruptibly,

The Chief Justice

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Nimuë La Mer

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Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info?
Reply #2 - Jun 3^rd, 2009, 12:39pm

My deepest apologies at having potentially offended you and/or anyone who may be judging this year's parade!

I will certainly take into consideration your offense and behave accordingly! My potential contributions to the Bribe Show will be a shining example and stern warning to future mermaid parade participants against such heinous acts of influence!

Many thanks for your specific clarifications! I look forward to hearing detailed additions to this admonition from other potential judges as well!

Kindest regards,
Nimuë La Mer
Roll Eyes

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niK Sand in my Shoes Offline Made here, Born here, Still Here: In Coney. Posts: 337 BK- All Day! Gender:	Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info? Reply #3 - Jun 3^rd, 2009, 10:46pm i mean, if the judges are going to be so very difficult and not give the marchers any hints at all--- how can a proper bribe be prepared?
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Nimuë La Mer Thrill Seeker Offline Miles to swim before I sleep... Posts: 73	Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info? Reply #4 - Jun 4^th, 2009, 7:33pm I'm thinking The Chief Justice is the only judge there is!
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Pablo57

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Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info?
Reply #5 - Jun 4^th, 2009, 8:31pm

Nimuë La Mer wrote on Jun 4^th, 2009, 7:33pm:

I'm thinking The Chief Justice is the only judge there is! Smiley

The Chief Justice is the only judge dressed as a judge. Although I've seen a mini-me Cheif Justice also.

The other judges have to bribe the Chief Justice to become judges so they can then accept bribes from the Mermaids. So theoretically speaking in the third person, "YES the Chief Justice is the only BRIBABLE judge. Take care of him and he'll take care of you as well as distribute the bribes to the other judges."

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Nimuë La Mer Thrill Seeker Offline Miles to swim before I sleep... Posts: 73	Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info? Reply #6 - Jun 4^th, 2009, 8:44pm Good to know! Thanks, Pablo!
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Dick_Zigun Son of A Beach Offline Looka, Looka, Looka! Posts: 656 Gender:	Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info? Reply #7 - Jun 4^th, 2009, 10:27pm Hey, I invented the parade! Give me a big cash bribe and I will over-rule the judges!
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Nimuë La Mer Thrill Seeker Offline Miles to swim before I sleep... Posts: 73	Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info? Reply #8 - Jun 4^th, 2009, 11:47pm Dick, you know I love you. We met that first parade and I've never forgotten you. I have no cash, but I can pretty much make/build/invent anything. Say the word and it's yours.
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Dick_Zigun Son of A Beach Offline Looka, Looka, Looka! Posts: 656 Gender:	Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info? Reply #9 - Jun 5^th, 2009, 5:25pm Ah, ha, so it's you! Ladies and Gentlemen, winner of BEST MERMAID in the first Mermaid Parade, 1983! I can't ask YOU for money but we should have a good copy of your picture (above) for our archieves! I'll let other contestants bribe ME. You just take care of those inebriated incompetent corrupt judges!
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Nimuë La Mer

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Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info?
Reply #10 - Jun 5^th, 2009, 7:27pm

Why thank you, good sir! While I was very mermaidy that first competition, alas, I did not officially win that year. But my memories of that day are among the best ever! I may have a hardcopy of this one somewhere - and a new scan will be made and printed for you as soon as I can find it!

I do know that Sylvia Plachy (sp?) took a pic of me that year with the Mummers that was published in the Village Voice's Unguided Tour photos of the time. If anyone knows her, perhaps she might uncover one from her archives? I never got a print of it other than the one from the pages of the VV.

Hopefully, this year my daughter (who was conceived 6 months after this photo was taken) will be following in my 'finsteps' and joining me in this year's festivities!

With kindest regards,
Jolene

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Nimuë La Mer

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Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info?
Reply #11 - Jun 13^th, 2009, 3:26pm

Okay, so this mermy girl is prepping her costume and float and wondering just HOW MANY judges I need to accommodate? Shall I make one big goody bag for The Chief Justice and leave it to him to distribute?

Any more info is greatly appreciated.

By the by, since I don't believe in a 'walking' mermaid costume, I will be entering as a non-motorized mermaid float...

See you next week!
Grin

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Charley Weaver

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Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info?
Reply #12 - Jun 13^th, 2009, 5:49pm

The Chief Justice is not the only bribable judge, not the only XXL T-Shirt wearing Judge, not the only judge that drinks beer, single malt, or eats cake, drinks bottled water, or enjoys fresh fruit.

In the past many Judges had robes as well, but they tended to go home with the Judges. Judges do not Bribe the Chief Justice to receive swag from the crowd, they bribe Coney island USA with a generous donation to have the priveledge and honor of having sea creatures and lovely mermaids foist trinkets, T's, CDs, Brooklyn Lager Hats and booze on them. The Chief Justice has a prime spot to intercept the aforementioned loot, but rest assurred that it is a democratic process.

One of my all time favorite gifts from a a parade group was a group dressed like butchers with a Mermaid cake. The Mermaid was on a rolling cart and live, the body being a cake. It was fun, hilarious, and great cake to boot.

This of course all supposes an alternate world where the Judges would stoop to accepting bribes (possibly a Bizarro Mermaid Parade World) since contrary to reports here, ALL of the Judges are sober, competent, wise, fair and on the level.

N.B. - Don't forget to put your number on your bribe, and you might want to pass out cups with your bottle.

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electricia

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Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info?
Reply #13 - Jun 14^th, 2009, 8:33am

So true, Charley. I'm going to be a judge again this year. We are a group of ten friends (and friends of friends) including a few out of towners, who enjoyed it immensely last year. One of the prvileges of "Do Gooder" membership with CIUSA ($150) is a judgeship.

As for the bribes, bring a trailer truckload of 'em please. Last year the bribes were scarce. Definitely not enough to go around. There was an entire thread about it after last year's parade...

electricia wrote on Jun 22^nd, 2008, 4:44pm:

It was my first time as a judge, so I had no previous life experience with bribery. But friends who'd been judges in years past told us we'd get lots of beer. We expected to drag home bags full of beer, whiskey and tequila Cheesy

Didn't happen! Even the MCs said over the mike bribes were scarce this year. It must be the failing economy. Or a new generation of mer people averse to the tradition of bribery? We sent out this child judge to beg but as you can see it didn't do much good. This group squirted him with a water pistol. Typical!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3043/2601306348_09bf89d523.jpg
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27469924@N06/2601306348/in/set-72157605746915120

I did manage to grab one can of beer (for me) and a baseball cap (for my husband) from Brooklyn Brewery. I sort of remember helping the chief justice pour sake for the other judges and having a little sip myself. I think it was about 20 minutes into the parade with no beer, my friend and fellow judge finally splurged on take out daiquiris for our group from the place on the corner.

Thank you to the generous mermaid with the treasure chest filled with veils and beads and I dont know what else cause it was snatched up almost instantaneously!

Best marching group and cleverest bribe (that I know about): Congrats to the first prize marching group winners the Marie Antoinettes' on their performance and their beautiful rum cakes ("Let them eat cake!"). Somebody passed me a paper plate with a few tasty morsels. Class act.

http://www.coneyisland.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?num=1214167446

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Nimuë La Mer Thrill Seeker Offline Miles to swim before I sleep... Posts: 73	Re: Traditional Bribing of the judges info? Reply #14 - Jun 14^th, 2009, 8:44am Oh my... I hope I can gather enough swag to please the judges this year! This economy is kicking my tail! I will have to see what I can come up with! Cheers! Jolene
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